Male ejaculation is an obsession in the standard model of sex.
The model of sex we all know and have been raised on is completely fixated and obsessed with this one outcome: the ejaculation of male seed preferably inside a woman’s vagina.
It’s the reason for sex.
It's the end of sex.
It's widely assumed to be the purpose of sex.
It's certainly the goal of sex.
And it adds a lot of pressure onto sex.....
Both men, and women, experience completely unnecessary pressure (and “dysfunction”) because the model tells them that sex is all about male ejaculation.
Unless you're making babies (which is a perfectly valid reason for sex for a period of our lives) maybe you could choose to release yourself from the notion that sex = male ejaculation?
Let’s face it, women spend most of their menstruating years managing male ejaculate as a waste product, as something we do not want.
Whether it’s throwing away a filled condom or pumping our bodies full of chemicals or putting various devices into our vaginas and wombs - we spend decades of our lives trying to keep ourselves protected from the “reason for sex”!!
Does this not strike you as utterly bonkers?!!
Our obsession with male ejaculation stems from the early days of the patriarchy when humans first understood the role of the male seed in reproduction. The female body stopped being revered as the sole, magical creator of human life and became seen merely as the safe place for male seed to develop into life.
We became domesticated beasts of burden. And so much of the joy, magic, ecstasy and bliss of human sexuality was taken from all of us.
It didn’t happen overnight - it took hundreds of years of societal gas lamping to extinguish human knowledge about our own bodies and our own sexuality.
One of the many very common misunderstandings we are left with is that male ejaculation is male orgasm.
The two can coincide, and in our highly conditioned sexuality tend to, but this puts a ceiling not only on female sexual pleasure, but also on male sexual pleasure.
So let me give some fresh information: orgasm is an energy experience, ejaculation is the physical release of semen. They are different occurrences even if they are commonly experienced at the same time.
We don’t assume that women have to ejaculate to orgasm, and we should update our sexual knowledge to understand that men do not need to ejaculate in order to orgasm.
Indeed, assuming that sex is over, goal achieved, with male ejaculation prevents most men from experiencing the most incredible orgasms either post ejaculation or without ejaculation.
I have witnessed men having the most phenomenal full bodied orgasms post ejaculation way too many times to believe the myth anymore.
And the most orgasmic man I have ever met was biologically incapable of ejaculation. A birth "defect" meant that he didn't ejaculate his life force energy out his body when he orgasmed. Instead it stayed within, moving around his body, making it hum with life and making him the most magnetic person I have ever met.
So let’s look at ejaculation. It occurs when a man has built up sexual energy. As it builds and builds and builds, with tension around the pelvis it has nowhere to go but out, so it does, the built up energy explodes outwards.
But when the tension is replaced with relaxation the energy doesn’t explode outwards as quickly (or at all), and is able to move around the whole body, expanding into a full-bodied orgasm.
An orgasm that is felt throughout the entire body, that is often felt for hours even days afterwards, an orgasm that is completely satisfying - that fulfills you on all levels - physical, emotional and spiritual. An orgasm that transforms how you feel about yourself and how you live your life.
It’s a way of experiencing sex so that the objective is not that “we cum together” but instead that we continue to get curious and explore together - explore new and different ways of activating sexual energy, explore new ways of expanding sexual energy and explore new ways of moving sexual energy around and between our bodies.
This is what sex used to look like. This is not new knowledge, it is reclaimed knowledge.
I find it really exciting and empowering knowledge - because the sex that expands and moves energy consciously around the body is the sex that women crave more of and men really love, when they feel safe to express their full selves and move beyond societal conditioning about how “a real man performs.”
There are many, many ways men can learn to experience their sexuality differently. The way I offer is to teach women how to activate, expand and move sexual energy around their male partners, harnessing sexual energy as their men just relax deeper and deeper to build bigger, better, more incredible orgasmic experiences.
I know that once men experience sex in this way their lives completely transform, their relationships transform and women who have been under pressure to “initiate more sex” finally have a way, to not just start the kind of sex they have grown tired of, but to finally stand in their complete sexual power and initiate their men into the fullest expression of their sexual energy.
Everyone wants to feel orgasmic energy everywhere in their bodies, we all want more and more of this beautiful, nourishing energy in our bodies. No-one wants to limit their orgasmic experience…..
So my invitation to you is to sling out a model that is not serving anyone. That was created to curtail human pleasure and human self expression - to domesticate wild, fully expressed humanity as beasts of burden for the purposes of a narrow elite.
It’s time to investigate other ways, to open up to your full orgasmic potential and then just play with it.
If you would like to learn more about the different ways you can work with me to experience a better sex life, book a complimentary and confidential call with me:
Photo by Tony Mucci on Unsplash