Q: What made you choose to become a libido coach for women?

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• The pain I see on women’s faces all around me. It was once my pain and I feel it very deeply.

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Q: What pain do you see?

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• It’s a mixture of aching physical loneliness, an unmet need for sexual and emotional intimacy (which are inextricably linked for women), a biological need to feel orgasmic energy flowing through our bodies and a deep frustration or even rage at the never ending demands on our finite reserves of energy.

• I don’t think many women understand the cause of their rage, but we all feel it, even if it’s only once a month when we “go crazy”.

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Q: Explain the importance of orgasm to women

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• Orgasm is how we refill the tank! What we experience as orgasm is an incredibly high vibrational energy flowing through our bodies. Sexual energy, the energy that creates human life, can create anything - a career, a book, a painting, a beautiful home - and nourish every cell of our bodies in the process! 

• Sadly, for a number of reasons (which is where I fit in) women are not experiencing their orgasmic energy nearly enough. 

• Once I realised how ill and depressed women are because we don’t access this incredible source of energy within us, I knew I had to find a way to bring orgasm back into our lives.

 

Q: And have you?

 

• YES! (imagine me doing a little dance as you read this!) I have. 

• A series of events led me to discover Tantric practices which gently released sexual trauma from my youth (long since buried and ignored) and as importantly, toxic beliefs which prevented me from feeling sensation (energy) in my body.With so much gunk released, I connected to the most incredible source of energy.  Sometimes it's gentle and flows, sometimes it erupts like a volcano, sometimes I dance with the angels and sometimes I fall into a peaceful well of complete bliss. 

• Orgasmic sex has filled my life with laughter, fun, creativity, confidence, fizziness spark and joy. It has enabled me to create the happy, loving home I always dreamt of for myself and my children. 

• They are cliches but they’re true: you cannot give from an empty cup and an unhappy mother does not raise happy children.  

 

Q: You sound so happy now, it’s hard to believe you haven’t always been.

 

• Hmmm….let me put it this way, 10 years ago I never smiled. Now my smile is the closest thing I have to a logo! 

• My life used to feel like endless drudgery. The hardest thing I did every day was get out of bed. I was in my early 40s and yet so, so, so tired. There was a period of deep depression. I was achingly lonely, I yearned for the loving and sexy intimacy I had had with my husband in our early days, but had no idea how to rekindle our flame.

• I felt trapped in a life that didn’t feel right, materially we had everything, but emotionally and spiritually it was a dead existence.  

 

Q: Why do you think you, like so many other women, felt so empty and alone despite so much material comfort?

 

• Here’s the horrible truth: I was struggling with what Naomi Wolf calls Vaginal Depression.

• My passive and disconnected relationship to my body and sex was the result of sexual assault as a young teenager but also the damaging belief system I grew up in that made me feel shamed and disgusted by my vagina and my sexuality. (you can listen to a fuller version of my story here.)

• I expected life to happen to me, it was my job to survive it.  It was only when I decided to seize the reins and create a life of my choice that it began to change and I began to thrive.

 

Q: If you hadn’t seized the reins, what do you think would have happened?

 

• Gosh, this sounds overly dramatic, but my children may not have a mother. I had spent so many decades of my life feeling unlovable and unworthy. Reclaiming my sexuality has essentially been a journey back to love. Learning to truly love and be intimate with my own body has attracted so much more love and intimacy into my life.

• My life is infinitely richer as a result. At the end of the day, if our lives aren’t overflowing with  love what’s the point?