Updated: Jul 4, 2021
Do you have a sense that sex could be better?
That sex could be more fulfilling, more connecting, more joyful?
That maybe you are missing out on the full potential that sex offers?
You’re “doing” everything right, but you’re just not experiencing the bliss that you yearn for?
I don’t think it is that surprising.
Many of us, both men and women, have picked up really unhelpful cultural messages about what our sexuality is, what it's for, and how we should feel about it.
Men’s sexuality has been severely limited to fit into a narrow model which focuses on performance and outcome, making sex a highly pressured activity that can become boring or even harmful.
The standard model of sex traps men in what I call “Warrior” mode - believing sex is something that they “hunt” for and “grab” whenever the opportunity arises. And yet few men want to be stuck here (if they were ever comfortable here to begin with) many, if not most, men want to access their “Lover” energy.
And they may intellectually know this, yet their bodies are deeply programmed by thousands of years of conditioning to show up as warriors, causing all kinds of difficulties for men (and their women) who want to access and experience something different.
Most women have been raised, at some level, to understand their sexuality as something dangerous, shameful, disgusting…...something dirty, something that is fundamentally wrong.
In the Judaic-Christian world we grew up with the story that Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden because of Eve's sexual curiosity. We are raised with the knowledge that female sexuality and our earthy, bleeding bodies are the cause of original sin no less!
And funnily enough this deeply entrenched societal belief affects how we experience our sexuality. A socially constructed belief has become entrenched in our physical, embodied memories. Which is why we can have amazing sex, experience deep pleasure and still suffer from STIs - our bodies way of expressing it’s shame, fear and disgust at our pleasure.
We may know intellectually, in our rational conscious minds, that our sexuality is deeply, deeply beautiful - that it's a powerful route to intimacy, that it's our birth right.
And yet our body-minds are still carrying the shame and trauma of thousands of years of sexual suppression.
For years my mind and my body were in conflict around sex. I was cognitively choosing sex, I knew I loved sex and I rationally chose men who met my sexual appetite, I found sex fun, easy and really amazing. And yet, I was plagued with years, even decades, of severe bouts of thrush and cystitis following my sex (which really impacted on how much sex I could indulge in).
By happy accident (or universal intervention?) I started using Tantric practices which, unbeknownst to me, gently, but fundamentally changed the blueprinting in my body.
I did not consciously know that my body carried so much shame and fear - they showed up, not in my thoughts, but in my ongoing infections.
It was only when I stopped stocking up on Canestan and cranberry juice that I realised what a powerful impact these simple practices had had.
It was all very well to have modern, empowered beliefs about my sexuality, but I needed to free my body from it’s deep programming.
Whether we are women or men, we need to change not just the way that we think about sex cognitively in our heads, but also the physical blueprinting programming in our bodies.
Which is the incredible power of Tantric sex practices. They teach us how to physically work with our bodies to change the way they feel about sex, so that we literally change the programming of our cells - changing our memories at a cellular level.
I am not alone in experiencing profound transformations in my body through a few simple practices. I work with men, women and couples who experience incredible changes, sometimes within only a few hours, such as this female client who messaged me about the impact ONE practice was having on her after only doing it TWICE......
“......so powerful, I am a bit astounded and blown away, I am feeling magical, powerful, immense and Iike I have a really special secret!!! No wonder you want to tell people about this!!!!!”
If you would like to experience one of these powerful practices without committing to a long and expensive programme, I have created a bundle called "Exploring Sacredness" so that you can access the power of one of these practices at a fraction of the usual cost.
"Exploring Sacredness" is a practice that works to change the blueprinting of your body from shameful to sacred. In the bundle I have created for you is a video introduction to the practice, along with a follow along audio guide and step-by-step PDF guide. Click here to gain access.
If you would like to learn more, please don’t hesitate to book a call with me.